Angel or Devil? Childhood Trauma and Relationships with Wives and Children

Unrealistically beautiful but also dark, deeply emotional but also sarcastic, born to monopolize the gaze but also lonely, angel but also devil at times…: these were the two completely opposite sides of his face sculpted as if by a great sculptor. Alain Delon Who passed away yesterday at the age of 88, bringing an end to an entire era that he indelibly marked.

This contradictory nature of his, which remained the same throughout his long life and affected all his relationships and personal choices, was the result of a great, deep, and lifelong wound that he carved into the soul of his childhood. or abandoning his parentsHe was only 4 years old when they separated and made the difficult decision to give him to another family to raise in order to move on with their lives.

“I understood early on what separation, abandonment, loneliness was… How do you understand that your parents got rid of you when you were only 4 years old? I wasn’t a priority for them. I was 4 years old and they threw me out… I’ve never seen my parents together. My father on one side and my mother on the other. Everyone on the coast and I on an island in between…” he confessed in an in-depth interview he gave in 2018 to Paris Match.

Somehow, I turned into one. Terrible and very unhappy child Who did his best to attract attention. Share in BattlesHe was a bad student, constantly getting expelled from the schools he attended, running away from home, and even joining the Navy when he was only 17. In the meantime his adoptive parents had died and guardianship had reverted to the naturals who, now that they had new families, had no store of love and affection available for this savage they had created themselves.

The savages that would turn into one tragic hero And who would continue throughout his life to desperately seek the acceptance and love that he had been denied as a child by any means possible. Either by seducing females everywhere with his otherworldly beauty or by playing the dark, wild but at the same time tender heroes in the films of Visconti, Antonioni and other important directors. Within a few years he managed to become the most attractive man in the world, ever. Movie Icon He seemed to enjoy it.

“I want to be loved as much as I love myself,” he declared with great selfishness and deep arrogance, revealing, at the same time, even in this sarcastic way, his great, incurable wound. A wound that no love, no relationship, no woman could heal, despite the fact that many tried with all their might.

First and best Romy SnyderWith whom he had a long love affair that lasted five years, from 1959 to 1963, and although he left her, he left her a letter in which he confessed that he was leaving with another woman, his later wife Natalie, whom he had married. His son Anthony, she remained close to him throughout her short and tragic life, and she did not hesitate to declare publicly that he was the most important man in her life.

The last night they spent together, she died, at the age of 43, and she succumbed to the pain of losing her 14-year-old son, and perhaps the only moment she realized that this was what had happened was next to her, as he looked at her broken. He was the great love of his life. Shocking Love letter What he wrote to her, on that tragic night, says it all: “I see you sleeping. I am with you by your bedside. You are wearing a long black dress with red embroidery on the bodice. I think these are flowers, but I do not look at them. I will say goodbye, the biggest goodbye, Bobbili. That is what I called you. In German it means “little doll”. I do not look at the flowers, but at your face, and I think you are beautiful, and perhaps you have never been so beautiful. And I also think that this is the first time in my life – and yours – that I have seen you so calm and at ease. You are so calm, you are so kind, how beautiful you are. As if a hand had gently wiped away from your face all the tensions, all the worries of misfortune. I watch you sleep. They tell me that you are dead. I think of you, me, us… I came from Vienna and I was waiting for you, in Paris, with a bouquet of roses that I did not know how to carry… Then I fell madly in love with you. And you fell in love with me too. My God, we were young, and we were happy… And then life… Our life, which is no one’s business, Our band…]Oh “Puppelé”, I look at you over and over again. I want to devour you with my eyes and tell you over and over again that you have never been so beautiful and so peaceful. Get some rest. I’m here. I learned a little German with you. I love you I love you, Puppelé.

But even the pain of this great loss could not change him. He continued to fall madly in love, and after several years he was still searching for the one New flameA new passion to fill the huge inner void left by the lack of parental love.

“There are gaps that will never be filled. And even when I lived with a woman, when I loved a woman, I felt alone. I have always felt that way. This loneliness that I always carry with me certainly goes back to my childhood. I was only 4 years old when I realized that the ones you love the most can abandon you,” he confessed in one of his last interviews.

Unfortunately, his children, Anthony, Alain Fabian and Anouska, were unable to cover these emotional gaps, which he had with his partner of 15 years, a model from the Netherlands. Rosalie van Bremen But also Ari Polon, the fruit of his love for the German singer and actress. NicoWho never got to know him, he was born in 1962 and died in 2023 at the age of 60. His relationship was always explosive, especially with their two sons, with constant tensions and constant stresses. long periods of alienation“I’m not sure I was a good father to them, nor a good grandfather to my grandchildren. Was I ready? I don’t believe it…” he admitted to himself.

How, after all, could he offer his children the deep, inexhaustible, non-negotiable love he had never known before? Because he had managed to attract his parents’ attention, but not their love, which he most needed: “They both approached me when I became famous. Suddenly they remembered that they had a son. My mother began to call herself Madame Delon, although her last name was Boulogne. She became a collective and was no longer a mother. My father was more present at the end of his life. But all this does not make up for what I did not have as a child, what was not given to me, the love of my parents.”

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